Kansas City Tweet-Up

One of the cool things about my job is that I get to meet some awesome people and ask 'em what's on their bucket list.

Here are a few awesome new friends I met at a "Tweet-Up" at Waldo Pizza in Kansas City. 

What's on your Bucket List?

My SXSW Keynote

The last couple of years I've been hearing a LOT about SXSW (South by SouthWest), the gianormous Music, Film and Interactive festivals that take place each spring in Austin, TX.

The Midlife Road Trip producers said that everybody who was anybody would be at SXSW.   So I, along with our hardworking cameraman, Ryan Cavanaugh, a.k.a. "The Dude",  ventured into Austin to see what all the hpye was about.

 The Dude, himself, doing what he does best.

AZ on the Rocks

The Midlife Road Trip show stopped by AZ on the Rocks in Scottsdale, Arizona for a little team building exercise with our Phoenix Ambassador, Andi Barness.

One of the great things about social media is meeting so many awesome people from all parts of the world. We met and became friends with Andi on Twitter. She was so incredibly helpful in hooking us up with all the cool things to do and great places to eat in the Phoenix area, and she was a blast to hang out with.  She and I raced to the top (You'll have to watch the video below to see who won). She also turned us on to Bryan's Black Mountain Barbecue in Cave Creek, AZ - some of the best BBQ west of the Mississippi!

If you ever plan to do much traveling I strongly encourage you to get involved with Facebook and Twitter and make some friends who can show you their neck of the world better than guide book or travelogue.

Who'd-a thunk that fried eggs on BBQ could be so good?

Midlife Road Trip stars, Sandi McKenna and Sher Bailey with our Phoenix Ambassador, Andi Barness.

Me and Bryan, himself!

Interview with Jeffrey Hattrick

Here is the video of our interview with Jeffrey Hattrick, the Tea Sommelier at the Ritz-Carlton in Phoenix.

Bathroom Mirror

     OK, so I go out of town to film an episode of Midlife Road Trip. I return to learn that my wife “saved” the family $90 by purchasing a $140 mirror that was marked down to $50 - some kind of weird female math that they teach in home economics classes in public schools.

     She proudly hung it in the master bathroom. And though I am $50 poorer, I have to admit that it is a nice looking mirror. The only problem is that in placing the mirror, she failed to consider that I don’t always sit down when using the bathroom. So what I see in the mirror is not only bad for my self-esteem on cold mornings, it’s causing me to want to sit down every time I have to go. All those years of perfecting my aim, wasted.

Expiration Dates

    There it was, way in the back of the refrigerator, an unopened container of sour cream. Exactly what I needed to top my spinach and mushroom quesadilla - yummy!

But DANG IT!!! The expiration date was like 8 months ago. I opened it anyway. It’s sour cream for goodness sake. It’s already sour. Surely if it had never been opened it’d still be good - right? WRONG. I’ll spare you the details. Sadly I had to toss a full container of sour cream in the garbage.

    That happened about three days before I was scheduled to jump out of an airplane for an episode of MidlifeRoad Trip. It got me to thinking about expiration dates.

Like it or not, all of us have an expiration date. But unlike sour cream, we don’t know when it is.  Any doubts I had about skydiving vanished as I thought of what a waste it was to throw away an unopened container of sour cream.

When ever my expiration date rolls around, I don’t want any unexplored opportunities, unfulfilled experiences or unchased dreams left in my container. I want my container empty with the insides licked clean.

There’s something about Midlife when your hair starts graying, your bones start aching and your… you know … starts you knowing, that makes you start thinking about your own mortaility.

This is one of my favorite poems of all time. I think it puts expiration dates in their proper perspective.

The Dash Poem

by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak


At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth

And spoke of the following date with tears,


But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth


And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,


The cars, the house, the cash,


What matters is how we live and love


And how we spend our dash.


So think about this long and hard;


Are there things you'd like to change?


For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough


To consider what's true and real

And always try to understand


The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more


And love the people in our lives


Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile,


Remembering that this special dash


Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read

With your life's actions to rehash


Would you be proud of the things they say


About how you spent your dash?

© 1996 Linda Ellis

www.lindaellis.net

Please Don't Kill Me

I have always been a little off, a little twisted. My momma says I was a handful growing up. If somebody says you’re a “handful”, it’s just a polite, Southern way of saying you are a pain in the butt.

I debated whether it is O.K. to say “butt” because I’m not sure if it is a cuss word or not. But then I remembered what the King James Bible calls a donkey, and I figured it was all right.    

My momma is a very intelligent woman; she has her Master’s Degree in early childhood education. While I was growing up, she tried everything she knew to get me under control, but I was still a handful. Eventually she decided to have me  evaluated. She arranged for some “professionals” with legal pads to visit my school and observe me throughout the day.

These experts told Momma that I had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder – ADHD, which is just a big, fancy, clinical way of saying I was a “handful”. Momma already knew that, but I guess we had good insurance and  she wanted to have it confirmed.

I still remember the first time Momma ever talked to me about ADHD; she was so kind and loving. She sat me down, took my little hands in hers and looked into my eyes. Then she pinched my cheeks real hard so I’d look into her eyes. 

“Honey, you have a condition known as Attention Deficit….Look at me….Attention Deficit Hyper…LOOK AT ME!… Hyperactivity Dis…. Just take this little pill RIGHT NOW!”

“What’s it do?” I asked.

She knew I was too young to understand the chemistry behind it so she said, “It will help you to grow up to be big and strong and live a long life!”

Frightened, I asked, “Will I die if I don’t take it?”

She said, “No, honey, no. You won’t die... But somebody might kill you.”

After all these years, I am taking myself off my ADD meds. Midlife is the time you give your self permission to be yourself. I’m not sure that I am myself when I’m on the meds.

As I transition back to my natural ADD glory, I’m not sure what I’ll say or what I’ll do, but it will be me who says is and does it. Just please know that it is never, ever, ever my intent to offend anyone – except maybe the Amish – but that’s only because I know they don’t read my blog.

Midlife and Resolutions

So it’s the time of year when bloggers everywhere begin making suggestions for resolutions guaranteed to make my life better in the new year. Here are the top recurring themes I’m seeing in the blogs.

1.  diet and exercise
2.  quit drinking and smoking
3.  spend more time with family
4.  get out of debt
5.  get organized

Screw all of that. I’m in the middle of my midlife crisis.  I don’t wanna diet. I don’t wanna exercise. I don’t wanna quit drinking - especially if I have to spend more time with family. I’d have to start smoking in order to quit smoking. I would feel totally un-American if I were out of debt. And dang it, I have A.D.D. so getting organized is a medical impossibility.

The ultimate purpose of resolutions is to make your life better, right? BUT, statistics show that most resolutions are broken sometimes between Superbowl Sunday and Fat Tuesday. A broken resolution is tantamount to personal failure.

Personal failure leads to low-self-esteem WHICH erodes productivity and diminishes the quality of life, THUS having the EXACT OPPOSITE effect of what what the resolutions were intended to do in the first place. All of that to say… I ain’t gonna make no resolutions this year.*


*Note to my northern friends who got their thongs in a thistle over my use of the words “ain’t” and “no” in the same sentence constituting a “double negative"... blah... blah... blah.  Please be advised that I type in fluent Southern where the first negative adds emphasis to the second negative rather than negating it.