Monday, January 25, 2010

Contemplating Murder

I’m in really nice resort / conference center in Tampa, FLorida. I never intended to write a real-time blog but it’s 3:10 a.m. and I can’t sleep.
    I can’t sleep because I have a roommate.
    My roommate is snoring.
    My roommate is snoring, loudly.
    My roommate is J.D.  Lindman. J.D is the executive producer of the Midlife Road Trip show. We have a busy production schedule later in the morning - much later. When on the road, we often room together in order to share expenses. J.D. has become one of my best friends in the world.
    Friendship aside, J.D.’s snoring is unbelievably annoying. I am contemplating using the pillow that is no longer of use to me, to shut J.D. up - permanently.

     I’ll be right back.
    Didn’t go through with it. I couldn’t live with the guilt of snuffing out a friend. Besides, I’d have to pay for the whole room myself. I think I’ll get a shower.
    Be back soon.
    I remembered to wash behind my ears. Even in the shower, with the water running, I could hear J.D. snoring. He hasn’t always been this bad. That can’t be healthy. He needs to get something checked. I think I’ll wake him up.
    Back in a few...
    I guess I’d better put some clothes on first. If a naked man woke me up at 3:40 a.m., Im not sure what I’d think. I certainly wouldn’t room with him again. I’d better get dressed first.
    Where are my socks?
    This is the first time I have ever written anything naked.  I’m actually feeling very creative; I’ll have to remember to try this next time I get a case of writer’s block, unless it’s one of those times when I’m writing in a hotel lobby.
    Should probably get dressed.
    Don’t look.
    O.K. I’m dressed now, but I’m not sure how I’m going to wake J.D. I have an idea, but it’s risky. I’ll let you know how it goes.
    Pray it works.

    It didn’t work like it did in camp. I filled the ice bucket with warm water and tried putting J.D.’s hand in it. He spilled the bucket all over the bed. He didn’t think it was funny, but at least he’s awake now. In fact, he’s taking a shower. He thinks it’s somewhere around 6:30 a.m. He wants to go to breakfast as soon as he gets dressed.
    I’m going sleep, y’all.  


  1. ROFL! Well written.

    Maybe share room expenses next time with one of the production assistants. I have heard that they snore less, and their socks smell better.

  2. Sweet dreams Rick! And well, if we never hear from you again, we know who the prime suspect in your disappearance will be... Brilliant!

  3. Thanks P.J. - but I must admit that J.D. does have nice smelling socks - they're wintery fresh.

    Phil - Thank you so much for the kind words. For the record, I am fully clothed while writing this reply.

  4. "For the record, I am fully clothed while writing this reply."

    Well, there you go.....spoiling the whole thing!