CRAPPY New Year!

So here’s what happened. After church, a group of us headed into Atlanta for some Thai food. I voted for Mexican  because I knew that this particular Thai restaurant didn’t have wi-fi to support my Twitter addiction.

Since I couldn’t tweet and eat, I left my 3-month-old, 17”Macbook Pro in the car. Even though we were in a “safe” part of town, I wisely hid my laptop on the floor of  the rear passenger seat. And then to be extra safe, I covered it with my leather jacket.

When we returned to the car, we found a shattered window. But we didn’t find my laptop or my leather jacket - which obviously fled the scene in shame for not fulfilling its leather jackety duties of protecting my laptop.

I then uttered my first cuss word(s) of the new year, which is OK because I didn’t make a resolution not to cuss. Besides, screaming "Happy FAMOUS New Year to me! DARN it! shucks, Shucks, SHUCKS!" doesn't have the same therapeutic effect.

We called 911, but since no one was bleeding, we were given a low priority. After waiting for two and a half hours in 26 degree weather, I called 911 AGAIN to report hypothermia and frost bite, thinking it might move us up in priority.

While I was on the phone, an officer finally arrived. He told us that particular parking lot was hit 6-8 times per week. He said that the thief was probably a crack-head who traded my $2,800 computer to his junkie for a hit of crack.

Had the officer told me that the thief had traded my laptop for a hit of crack AND a hooker, I’d have felt much better knowing that I wasn’t the only one who got screwed.

On the off chance that whoever took my computer is reading my blog, please know that I will buy you a whole week’s supply of crack and hookers for it’s safe return - maybe even a month's supply! I don’t really know the current market price for either.

NOTE to everyone else reading this blog: Please be advised that my missing laptop had a current version of Photoshop and many personal pictures. So any unflattering or compromising pictures of me that EVER appear in the internet, are probably just the work of a creative druggie.